It’s well known that a climber’s diet is a very delicate balance of beer and, well, more beer. But when you start to feel your energy tank and your stomach grumble, make sure to reach for ANYTHING ELSE but these items while attempting to refuel for your next burn.
1. Canned Shrimp – must be rinsed very well or your Teryaki shrimp noodles will taste like oven cleaner
2. Chocolate pudding snack packs – one misplaced cop-of-a-squat onto your food pack and voila, Insta – shit your pants.
3. Garlic anything.
4. Sushi – raw fish plus high backpack temperatures equals you puking onto your partner who was nice enough to belay your dumb ass.
5. Ethnic food – anything that’s going to get your bowels moving faster than Dean Potter up El Cap is most likely a bad choice.
6. Spaghetti – been there, done that…about a million times.
7. Peanut butter – may be rich in proteins and healthy fats, but you’re screwed if you’re out of water.
8. Spam – the canned ham was featured in a Monty Python sketch as the ubiquitous mystery meat…I wouldn’t want to eat it either.
9. Cheese – a little bit will keep you full, a lotta bit will keep you constipated, and you won’t be sending shit.
10. Pouches of Tuna – right up there with sushi…plus it smells bad…like really really bad…like “no I will not come join you in your sleeping bag you tuna consuming hellion” bad.